A good old Spike Milligan joke, voted as the best ever, here goes:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line.
He says: "OK, now what?" My StumbleUpon Page

I coudn't resist sharing this one with you.

A fairy appeared before an old married couple and said, "You've been married for 35 years and lived an examplary life. Because of that I am going to grant you two wishes. One each."

The wife, quick as a flash and being the wonderful wife that she was wished for two tickets for a round the world trip for her and her beloved husband. The fairy waved her magic wand and two first class tickets appeared.

The husband when his turn came around, thought momentarily and then said, "Because this is so special and fairies only turn up once in a lifetime, I'm sorry darling but my wish is that I want a wife that is thirty years younger than me."

The wife of course became very sad and a good bit angry, but a wish is a wish.

The fairy waved her magic wand again and the husband turned into a ninety year old ditherer!

The moral of course is:
Men will always be men. But remember fairies are always women.

Hope you can get a few free drinks out of that one.
I'm back.

Photo courtesy of www.threewisheslingerie.com/fairies.asp My StumbleUpon Page